I am hereby serving you, (you know who or what you are) an eviction notice. You are to vacate my brain immediately and never return. Take all your junk with you; I don't need it anymore. You have occupied a space in my head for far too long. You are not paying me rent, and … Continue reading You’ve been served! →

Hi. You've reached my machine. I'm unavailable to take your call right now, because I won the lottery and am sitting on a beach. “Oh cabana boy, please bring me another refreshing beverage and massage my feet.” My husband and I joke this would be the outgoing message at my office if we ever won … Continue reading Cabana Boy →